Legal Advice My uninsured vehicle was driven without insurance by someone else and crashed. Now the other person involved is seeking money. |
- My uninsured vehicle was driven without insurance by someone else and crashed. Now the other person involved is seeking money.
- Bathroom Policy
- Would it be illegal to abandon my mother?
- I’m being sued over a lien from 2008, now 2yrs into owning my home
- My special ed 7 year old daughter keeps getting bit at school by a classmate. What recourse do I have?
- Liver Cancer and New Employer: Should I tell my new employer about it and how? I have a 1yo kid at home and not working wife.
- Moving Out Turned Strict Parents to Insane Parents
- Wife was raped by sheriffs deputy. Commonwealth Attorney declined prosecution because he doesn't think he can win.
- Relative Repeatedly Trying to Steal Funds from Non-Joint Bank Account
- HIPAA violation
- Employer cant pay us due to Kronos Outage
- Misdelivered Package
- Autistic Brother Used My Social Security Number (CA)
- HOA mandates carpeting AFTER I’ve just bought the property for its hardwood
- New Employer is not accommodating my injury
- Required to take a class to wear contact lenses?
- (Pennsylvania) Local court issued an arrest warrant for me due to failure to respond to a claim that was never actually delivered
- Someone claiming to be me is filing a disability claim against my own company (CA, Identity Theft/Fraud)
- My laptop was stolen by a Roadie (UPS gig courier) driver and they won’t do anything about it. Next steps?
- Lexus service department forgot to put oil back in my car. I’m owed an engine.
- Can my company lay me off after I signed a 1-year contract? I included the terms in the post. This is in California.
- Me(16) My father refuses to enroll me in a school simply because he believes the mask mandates will harm my health even though this is going against my best interest's, He is offering to take me to live with my mother who can't legally enroll me, What do I do?
- Who is at fault? I say the car wash or the guy behind me, car wash says mine. Texas
- Who pays for funeral expense when child was in the custody of the state?
- My ex and I cannot agree on custody or support arrangements. Arguments are escalating and I don't know what to do.
| Posted: 14 Dec 2021 06:36 AM PST Ohio/May 2021. My MIL drove a car that was meant to only be parked at the house since it's in my name AND uninsured. We get a call from her saying she had gotten in an accident and she was held responsible at the scene. She went to court and to my knowledge I thought that was it. Well come to find out we go to look for cars and they are telling me I have a suspended license and that there is a law firm in AZ seeking over 17k in damages. I was not in the car and did not give my MIL permission to drive said car especially without insurance. What can be done? [link] [comments] |
| Posted: 14 Dec 2021 06:02 PM PST I know this is weird, but a policy went out that no one is allowed to poop in the bathroom. This is a specific bathroom (there are others and they're public), but employees has been told a new policy has been created and they're not allowed to poop in a specific bathroom. They're allowed to use it, but not poop in it. Is this something that is legally enforceable? Any help would be appreciated and how would we even enforce that? [link] [comments] |
| Would it be illegal to abandon my mother? Posted: 14 Dec 2021 07:36 AM PST So ill try to keep this short as possible - dad died a few years ago, so i moved back in to my moms house to help her keep her house. - ive been paying ALL THE BILLS for years, she has ZERO INCOME, and i pay every single bill, every single dime. i even buy her stuff like cable tv , just because im nice.... i dont even watch TV but i buy her cable because i try to be a good son - she treats me like shit and talks rude to me, i want to leave and start my own life, i dont care about the house anymore i dont think i would get the house if she died anyways , she doesnt wanna put the house in her will for me which is supicious the problem is she has zero income and if i leave she will basically lose everything. can i get in trouble since she kind of depends on me? she will probably die if i leave but i honestly dont care at this point because its obvious she doesnt care about me or love me I live in Colorado by the way [link] [comments] |
| I’m being sued over a lien from 2008, now 2yrs into owning my home Posted: 14 Dec 2021 07:26 PM PST I purchased my home in Nov. 2019 from a couple who had lived there several years. Prior to that, the house changed hands two other times since 2008. The owners who sold it in 2008 never used the proceeds of the sale to pay off their mortgage. Somehow the title companies have missed this lien over several changes in ownership until now. Those original owners from 2008 both died this year. I am named in the lawsuit along with their heirs and estate for $75k. Why am I involved in this lawsuit at all, and how do I get my name out of the legal proceedings? These people who never paid their mortgage are responsible for that debt, not me. What if they're also deceased and I'm the only living party in the suit? How did the mortgage company not realize they stopped getting payments 13 years ago? I have 21 days to respond to the court and I'm afraid with the holiday season I'd run into a scenario where I run out of time. [link] [comments] |
| Posted: 14 Dec 2021 03:47 PM PST Location: Texas. Lewisville ISD to be exact. Posting under a throwaway account. My daughter (fake name Lucy) has autism, she is nonverbal. She is unproblematic, gets along with other children but needs space, not many behavioral problems. I feel compelled to point this out because my daughter is doing nothing to provoke the other child (fake name Mary). This has been confirmed by her teachers. The class is known as a "comm" class, it's basically special Ed exclusively for children with autism that cannot function in a neurotypical classroom. Both children have been classmates for 4 years, going back to preschool. Today marked the 7th time Mary has bitten Lucy. It has happened 4 times alone this semester. And Mary bites HARD, it leaves deep bruising for days, sometimes weeks. The district called in a behavior intervention specialist because of the problem. Cameras have been installed in the classroom. I do not place ANY blame on the teachers; they are short-staffed, overworked, and have too many children. And they are taking measures to keep the 2 separated, but 2 adults working a classroom of 7 special needs children can't stop this from happening. I have spoken to the principal, the nurse, the teacher, the TA, and it's still happening. So today I confronted Mary's father and simply asked "what do I need to do to stop your child from biting my child?" And he played dumb. Like, completely 100% dumb. He said he had no idea, which is a lie because it's all documented. He said he's had zero communication from the school on ANY matters (again, a lie), never apologized, and threw everyone under the bus that isn't him. Can someone please advise me what my next step should be? I don't want any money, don't want anyone to get fired, none of that nonsense. I literally just want to stop Lucy from being hurt. And I am also concerned that Lucy will pick up on this bad habit. Thanks in advance. [link] [comments] |
| Posted: 14 Dec 2021 10:03 AM PST I'm under 40, just started new job few months ago for a relatively big public tech company (NY) as a software engineer. Last week due to MRI I accidentally discovered and was diagnosed with a liver cancer (HCC) along with cirrhosis. I'm a new guy at the company and I still didn't prove myself in their environment yet, but these new issues cause a lot of distraction. I have no symptoms yet, and I don't know how much time I have left, but I want to make sure my family will not lose the source of income and my new health insurance. I worry for my family want to make sure they will be fine. I also worry for my new health insurance that I will need to pay for expensive surgeries on my liver soon. What should I do to protect myself and my family? [link] [comments] |
| Moving Out Turned Strict Parents to Insane Parents Posted: 14 Dec 2021 10:20 AM PST Location: USA State(s): Moving from West Virginia to Virginia Forgive me, I'm on mobile, and I'll try to structure this in an easy way, but I need help. Hiya, to keep it short, I (21F) moved out on my own, and my parents went ballistic. I'm picking up the pieces, but when they found out, they shredded my social security card and birth certificate, so I "couldn't leave." I'm trying to get paper work together but due to the timing, my car's registration expired and I'm worried about being pulled over. I ordered a birth certificate, I was going to order my social security card but in order for me to get a copy of my ssc(social security card) I need the BC(birth certificate) so I'm waiting on my BC to come in the mail. My license is West Virginia registered. I need it to be VA registered. (Can't do w/o BC at least, I think?) The car title recently has been placed in my name, but the title is "OP Name or OP's Parents Name" so im not sure how to get it to be just my name w/o my parent signing off. I paid for the car through my parents, and I actively pay for insurance; however, I have not paid any taxes on it yet as car payments were paid through my mother because she once had the car in her name. If a cop pulls me over in the state of VA, finds out my registration is expired, what should I do? Will they take the answer of me going through this paperwork process seriously? Do I have a time frame that they'll work with me? Could I get temp tags or something? I don't know what to do, and I'm worried. I don't go out because of the fear of being pulled over but ordering groceries suchs it's expensive. Everytime I drive to work I take the risk of getting pulled over. (Car pooling is not a thing for my work, and uber is too expensive for me to take daily.) What do I do if a police officer pulls me over? [link] [comments] |
| Posted: 13 Dec 2021 08:05 PM PST Commonwealth Attorney states that the evidence and his belief points to rape, but because my wife doesn't have broken bones or was beaten and she knows her rapist and had been drinking, he believes a trial would find the rapist not guilty. Stated that every rape trial he has had was lost so he's not pressing charges. "Doesn't want to put the victim through the pain of a trial..." Others have come forward about being raped by the same individual, but the state police refuse to speak to them. My wife has mentally and physically collapsed upon being told that that the state believes felony rape occurred but is going to let the criminal walk free. What do you do? [link] [comments] |
| Relative Repeatedly Trying to Steal Funds from Non-Joint Bank Account Posted: 14 Dec 2021 11:32 AM PST Hi all! Location: SC, USA An estranged relative hacked (or somehow socially-engineered?) their way into our bank account and keeps trying to steal the money in it. We've closed all accounts. We've frozen credit with all Bureaus. We've made police reports. We informed the company Relative is trying to send the money to that it was stolen (who basically told us it's not their problem). Luckily, we caught it early enough for the bank to stop the payments. Important info: 1) Relative never had access to our accounts (not joint/authorized, etc). 2) Relative repeatedly asked for money leading up to this and was denied. 3) Police aren't doing much, because we don't know where Relative lives & haven't actually lost any money (yet). Now Relative is trying to get loans, so we are getting more alerts. All failed so far - but we're exhausted….we have to jump through so, so many hoops to use our credit/accounts. Is there anything else we haven't done yet to help make this stop? We just want our life back…. [link] [comments] |
| Posted: 14 Dec 2021 10:31 AM PST I know someone who works for a doctor who has access to a patient portal and has been looking up the medical labs for people they know without them giving consent. They have admitted to looking up mine aswell and I feel violated. I'm sorry I have to stay intentionally vague, I will answer any questions to the best of my abilities. I'm wondering who I need to notify and how, if possible, to remain anonymous [link] [comments] |
| Employer cant pay us due to Kronos Outage Posted: 14 Dec 2021 12:46 PM PST Florida. For those who don't know UKG was hacked or ransomware issue. UKG controlled our scheduling and payroll system. Owner states they cant pay us until kronos resolves as payroll cant be processed nor can they see are punches. Owner said it will be up to 3 weeks until he can process payroll. I am salary and didnt punch a time clock. Payday was Monday. I'm owed for the past 2 weeks about $1500. Owner has refused to pay us. Today I along with 90% (15 people) of staff didn't show and were sent an email we were all fired for insubordination. Besides getting another job, what's the next step? I have about 5 weeks of savings and my spouse works so we are not hurting at the moment. [link] [comments] |
| Posted: 14 Dec 2021 06:13 PM PST The old resident that lived here 2+ years ago always forgets to change their address when ordering online. I've never met her, but over the course of two years I've had furniture, packages, etc delivered to my apartment in her name. Every time I either catch mid-delivery for the courier to take it back, or call the company and they have someone pick up the package. It's really getting to be annoying. I had a big, multiple box order today from amazon (christmas shopping) and as I was opening the boxes, I noticed one had a bunch of makeup--then realized it was from Ulta for the former resident. I called up Ulta's customer support and explained the situation. They had me on a 25 minute hold, wouldn't take any information from me, then told me it was my legal responsibility to return the package to the nearest Ulta store. They hung up on me when I asked them how it was my legal responsibility.. I don't understand why it's my responsibility and they don't schedule a pick up, as other companies have done? Am I legally required to drive there and drop it off? It's not like I signed for the package, it was mixed with my own. I'm probably going to suck it up and drop it off anyway, but I don't understand why it's my "legal responsibility" to be the person who returns it. [link] [comments] |
| Autistic Brother Used My Social Security Number (CA) Posted: 13 Dec 2021 11:08 PM PST I live with my parents and somehow my brother (22) somehow was able to get my social security number and memorized it to apply for a car loan at CarMax for a Porsche 911. Is there anything I can do to prevent future issues like this? [link] [comments] |
| HOA mandates carpeting AFTER I’ve just bought the property for its hardwood Posted: 13 Dec 2021 05:48 PM PST Recently purchased a condo near me and when I saw it, it had hard flooring. Hard flooring was one of my deciding factors because I have extreme allergies and carpeting makes me sick. I purchase the condo, I'm getting ready to move in and I get a letter from the HOA that basically says hard flooring is not allowed in the complex and the former owner did illegally without their consent. They expect ME to pay to carpet it. At no point during this ENTIRE purchasing process was I noticed I was buying a home with "illegal flooring" that would require me to carpet it on my dime. If I had been told this, I would have said "no thank you" and bought a different place, because I can't do carpeting and after purchasing this condo I don't have a lot of money to throw around to refloor the entire place. What are my rights here? Am I stuck paying for this? Can I somehow nullify the sale and get out of this unscathed? [link] [comments] |
| New Employer is not accommodating my injury Posted: 14 Dec 2021 09:59 PM PST Hello everyone I'm currently in new employment with a shipping center entering my fourth week. My head manager just told me to clock out 3 hours early because I was to slow. For reference I load trucks with commercial packages. The work is very physically demanding, but I am still doing my best. I made my injury known gave them a doctors with work restrictions which they have not followed. The head manager even sent me home for a week reacting to this. Afterwards he told me to wait until he called me. I clocked in after a week without receiving a call, everyone had thought I quit nothing was said. The head manager didn't even remember me when I spoke to him about it. I am not suppose to lift anything of 30 pounds and stand no more than an hour without break. All I do is stand and lift stuff that is easily 50 pounds at times. My immediate manager has tried working with me and to his credit he has been the only one to even attempt to accommodate me. He even said to fill out an injury form, to which my Head Manager reacted with sending me home early,different occasion. These shortening of hours have really hurt my pay. There have only been a handful of times of personally asked to leave early and that was when the pain was really bad. However my injury is recovering because of physical therapy I go to. This week I finally feel like I was keeping up, only to get sent home by the same head manager. I am still on probation for being a new hire but I already feel like they are going to let me go. Legal action is a last resort for me but honestly any help on the issue is appreciated. [link] [comments] |
| Required to take a class to wear contact lenses? Posted: 14 Dec 2021 02:32 PM PST I went to an eye doctor (first time for getting contacts) and basically wanted to try contact lenses. Doctor said I had to take a class to wear contacts and that the class costs $80. Reason said is that she is liable if I get an eye parasite infection or something like that. Is the doctor just getting free money out of me? I can't find anything from websites suggesting a class is required to wear contacts otherwise the doctor is liable. I guess my ultimate question of this post is: Is the person who prescribed my contacts held responsible by law if I get health issues from said contacts? [link] [comments] |
| Posted: 14 Dec 2021 11:35 AM PST A little over a month ago, an ex-housemate filed a harassment report against me after they moved out (the claim itself is of misconduct because I allegedly lit too much incense and scented candles near them). Today an office came by my apartment to essentially arrest me because I failed to reply to the initial claim when this report was submitted. The problem is that I live in a new apartment complex that the mail service still has trouble finding, so the mail piece was never delivered to me. I have never been in contact with a court or police officer like this so I felt very unaware of what was going on. The officer recommended I plead guilty to save myself the headache of going through a trial, but I decided against it. When I spoke to the judge, they mentioned that if I had responded to this on time, I could've had the chance to de-escalate it. When I said that I never received anything, the judge said USPS left slips on my mailbox that I had pending mail, and when I asked for a tracking number or proof of these slips, they told me to speak with USPS. I did and USPS said they can't do anything without a tracking number. I do not understand if this is going to go on my record since I have never been involved with the law like this. Is there a way to take back the arrest warrant? Or anything else I can do to inform myself better? [link] [comments] |
| Posted: 14 Dec 2021 03:55 PM PST California. I run a small (tiny) non-profit that has no employees. I volunteer as does my wife, there are no paid employees (other than a one-time website contractor). I received a Form DE 2503 that stated I (myname) was filing a SDI Disability claim, and if I could confirm that I was an employee at that time. I have never filed an SDI claim ever, certainly not now, so it seems to be someone fraudulently claiming to be me to get claims. My name and SSN on the form are correct. Worse, because the SSN is correct, it also seems like identity theft. However, I cannot successfully get the EDD department on the phone. Even when I navigate the extensive gauntlet of phone button menus to finally reach actual assistance, I am told "Our phone lines are full, please try later". I tried logging into the website as myself to see about the claim, but I cannot make an account as it requires a Driver's License number, and my driver's license number is already in use on another account (adding to the concern about identity theft). They give a phone number, which once again cannot be used successfully to reach a human. Were I ever to actually need to file a disability claim (which I certainly don't anticipate) I would be screwed trying to set up an account. There was a separate webform on the EDD site to report fraud, and I filled that out, but received no response. I also contacted my actual place of employment and they stated they had received no similar request for a disability claim. There are no other current suspicious identity theft activities on other accounts, but I'm hardly comfortable that someone is using my accurate SSN and DL number. And so I have no idea how to proceed, so here I am asking random internet folks for any ideas. TIA [link] [comments] |
| Posted: 14 Dec 2021 09:52 PM PST I arranged for my laptop to be repaired by Mobile Kangaroo (a certified repair chain). The courier (Roadie - basically an Uber/Lyft-style courier service owned by UPS apparently) picked it up and dropped it off and repairs were completed without issue. The driver who picked it up stole it and disappeared into the ether. At first Roadie said they could only deal with Mobile Kangaroo since they technically hired the courier service. I've been calling them a bunch and it's now "with their escalations team" but no one can give me an ETA on when they'll get back to me, the status of the police report, etc. It's been weeks. Do I file my own police report? Hound both Roadie and Mobile Kangaroo to reimburse me until one of them does it? Just call it a loss and see if renter's insurance will cover the laptop? [link] [comments] |
| Lexus service department forgot to put oil back in my car. I’m owed an engine. Posted: 14 Dec 2021 08:38 PM PST I recently took my 2006 Lexus GX470 into the local dealership for an oil change. While waiting I received a call that the technician forgot to put oil back in the car before they took it through the car wash and now the engine no longer works. He no longer works there. They were very apologetic and said they would of course take full responsibility and put a new engine in. However, by the end of the conversation it quickly became a used engine with equal or lesser miles. My question is, I bought this car used from their dealership from the original owner (babied with only 50k miles) who of course bought it from their dealership brand new. I knew I could trust that history on that vehicle from day 1. I have no idea where this next engine is coming from or what it's life has been like. Not only that, when it comes to resale, now my car has a backstory it didn't have going in. Do I need a lawyer? What kind of questions do I need to be asking? Any help would be much appreciated. [link] [comments] |
| Posted: 14 Dec 2021 06:51 PM PST From my contract:
From my handbook (signed):
[link] [comments] |
| Posted: 14 Dec 2021 02:38 PM PST It's a simple question really, My mother is currently fighting unfair legal issues and she doesn't have a home or the legal right to enroll me in school. My father refuses to allow her to do it while also preaching he'll let me live with her so I can attend in fact a much better school but she can't enroll me. What can I do in this situation because I know this would account as "education neglect", Can I challenge custody in court, But what can I do with my mother's situation since she does have enough money in the bank to put a down payment on a home or a rental and she does have a degree. [link] [comments] |
| Who is at fault? I say the car wash or the guy behind me, car wash says mine. Texas Posted: 14 Dec 2021 09:21 AM PST I went to one of those automatic car washes where your left two tires are on a track. The attendant waves you in, tells you if you need to turn the wheels then tells you to put the car in neutral. I did that. About halfway through my car jumped the track and then the car behind me bumped my car. Thankfully the damage isn't bad but you can see, thanks to my plastic bumper, that I was indeed hit. There's discoloration on the plastic part of my bumper. Immediately I drove my car out of the car wash and went straight to the office. She showed me the footage. She says my brake lights are lit up, showing I had my foot on the break…I didn't. I have auto head lights and it was dark enough inside the car wash for them to come on, and that too is seen in the video. She says my hand is on the steering wheel. Personally I can't see it, it's too dark but there is also no warnings/writings/anything that says you aren't supposed to touch the steering wheel. And I KNOW you're not supposed to, this isn't my first car wash. She also says that when my car rolls back (before I was hit) that it shows my car wasn't in neutral. Now I am in no way a car expert but if my car rolls BACK then it wouldn't be in park or drive if I'm on a level surface right? She told me I could call the cops but she's been in this business for 30+ years and the cop is going to say it was my fault when they review the footage (and I assume using her commentary as well) She can not release the footage to me, only the police. She had me fill out an incident report and told me someone would be calling me in the next couple of days. This is a chain car wash but I believe it's independently owned. So I'm not sure what to do, do I call my insurance? Would the car that hit me be responsible? Or would this go against the car wash's insurance? I do have a front facing dash cam but I can't imagine it will help much. [link] [comments] |
| Who pays for funeral expense when child was in the custody of the state? Posted: 14 Dec 2021 09:48 AM PST My cousins mother, who is a known convicted felon/scam artist, addict, & has never been able to keep custody of any of her children, recently gave birth to a baby boy who was later diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA) Type 0. It didn't take long for the state to take custody because of abandonment and inability to afford care. They have a gofundme and are using multiple other platforms to raise money, originally for a $2million drug. The baby has now passed and their first comment only mentioned how expensive the funeral will be and that they are still looking for donations. They have more than $10,000 raised in the gofundme alone, it is my understanding that this would be a sufficient amount to cover costs. My question is, since the state took custody, aren't they covering the costs? [link] [comments] |
| Posted: 14 Dec 2021 08:56 PM PST Hello, r/legaladvice. Long time lurker, first time poster. I've created a throwaway account for privacy reasons. For context, I am located in Ontario, Canada. I'm really not sure where to begin but will try to keep this as short as possible. I feel a little backstory is necessary to give readers a better understanding of the situation. My ex [43M] and I [38F] have been separated for 7 years (never married, but common law). We were together for a total of roughly 3 years before separating and I ended the relationship just after our son turned 1 - he is now 8 years old. We have shared access for the last 7 years with few issues up until about 1.5 to 2 years ago. We have never had a formal custody agreement and have never been to court. We don't even have a "kitchen table" written agreement. I used to be so proud of how well we co-parented together and was happy that we didn't "need" an agreement; I now realize that this was a huge mistake. In the past, there was never truly a set visitation schedule as I attempted to flex as much as possible with my ex's work schedule. This meant that our son would visit overnight maybe once a week, a random Tuesday or Wednesday here or there, he would take our son for the odd dinner out together on a weeknight, and occasional weekend sleepovers. He would always block off a week or so in the summer and around Christmas to have extended visits. All of this I have been agreeable to and supportive of and have never denied access. I loved having my son full-time and was happy that they had a generally good relationship. His work schedule changed roughly 2 years ago and since that time he has been taking our son most weekends from Friday evening to Sunday evening. This means that I have my son during the week and take care of all school related things - drop off, pick up, before/after school daycare, etc. I have no issue with our current schedule. It has been the status quo now, as I said, for 2 years. Keep in mind that my son has lived with me full time for his whole life - this will come up later. He has always paid a small amount of monthly support and we agreed on this amount 7 years ago. He has never missed a support payment and they are direct deposited into my account each month. The amount has never changed despite his role at work changing. He has been with the same company for 6 years so I would imagine he has received a pay increase at some point along with the changing roles and increase in responsibilities. He also has a second job that he works once or twice a week and is paid cash under the table - he has done this for years, however, I do not know what he earns and have never known the exact figure or even a ballpark for either job. So, I have no idea whether the support payments are "fair" as it is my understanding that they are generally based on income. Along with the small amount of support, in the past if I had extra expenses we could normally come to agreement on how to divide payment. For example, if I spent $100 on school supplies, I would ask for half and he would usually e-transfer me. If he couldn't manage half he would at least send a portion. Same thing for winter clothes or other larger expenses outside the norm. It has always bothered me that I am in the dark about his income but since he was paying at least something monthly and was agreeable to contributing to extra expenses I thought it best to leave well enough alone. On to the problems. We began running into issues when my ex started seeing someone [40F] and moved her into his home about a year ago - at this point they became (in my mind) a dual income household. Around this time, he began to view his time and my time with our son differently. The weekends were "HIS TIME" and he started to get annoyed if I would call or text to check in with my son when they were together (my son told me this, my ex has never voiced this to me directly). He has told my son that what happens at dad's house is "their business" and that he doesn't need to tell me everything that they do together. This was really hurtful for me to hear as our pattern has always been to check in with each other openly whenever we felt like it. Now I feel like I can't check in and see how my son is doing because I am perceived as annoying or invasive. When I do call, my son goes into a seperate room and talks for a few minutes but it feels like everything we say is being listened to. That's really not a problem, but just one example of how things have changed. He also refers to himself and his partner as "we" in all communications now. "We don't agree to paying" or "we can't take him this date" so on and so forth. So, from my perspective they are making decisions for our son together. That's fine and to be expected when someone enters a serious relationship, but it just feels so sudden and such a far cry from how things used to be that I almost have whiplash from it all. The true issues began this past summer when I was attempting to enroll our son in daycare so that I could work. Because of covid, our regular daycare suspended their school-age summer program and were not taking children in his age group. I tried for weeks to get him enrolled in literally anything else and there was no availibility anywhere. My only option was to enroll him in various day camps which differed in price each week. Most were $200 a week but one was $500. Normally, I wouldn't consider paying these amounts but I truly had no choice at the time. I have a babysitter that I use occasionally but she is high-school aged and wasn't available every day. I used her when I could but couldn't monopolize her entire summer in order to save money. I also do not have a partner and live alone so I am managing all bills on my own and could not take the whole summer off from work to care for my son. All told, I spent about $2500 on summer care over 2 months (July and August). Throughout the summer, I attempted to communicate this to my ex and asked how much he would be willing to contribute or if he was able to take any time off at all to spare us some expenses. He responded that he would not be taking any time off and would also not be giving me any money because I should have figured it out earlier. This was a weekly argument. With each new week, I'd send him the bill for camp and usually would not get a response. I have not received a dime from him for these expenses which were a massive strain on me. It was around this time that he started saying he wanted to change our access and started asking for 50/50 access to our son with no support payments. He has since not contributed to any additional expenses that he typically would have in the past: clothing, school supplies, new boots, etc. I have record of this and have kept all text messages and receipts. After weeks of back and forth heated arguments, I had a consultation with a family lawyer who advised me to avoid court as much as I could and suggested mediation. I pitched this to my ex and he rejected it. He will not budge and the more I try to make him understand things from my perspective the more he digs his heels in. We cannot speak on the phone anymore as the conversations reach a boiling point very quickly. We are communicating only through text and have been for several months now. About a month ago, our son's classroom was quarantined due to covid and he had to be off school for 2 weeks. I had to take the entire 2 weeks (unpaid) off from work because my ex refused to take even one day off to care for our son. Last week, our son got sick with a cold and needed 3 days off and a negative covid test to return to school. I had to take all 3 days because again, my ex refused to take any time off. Our son returned to school on Monday and was sent home within an hour because he started vomiting. My ex's mother picked him up because my ex refused to leave work and I legally could not leave work without coverage (healthcare worker) and have had to take today and tomorrow off because he will not take any time off from work at all. I have begged him. He doesn't care. For some context, I am a Master's student doing an internship at a hospital. It is paid but I do not get benefits, vacation, or sick pay. My supervisor is understanding, but to a point. I have had to take almost 20 days off in the last 5 weeks because of these issues and because my ex will not even take ONE unscheduled day off work to look after our son. What he wants is one week on and one week off each month with an end to the monthly payments. He says he will contribute to 50% of "extra expenses" and wants to go to court to have a formal order set in place. I am not agreeable to this in any way. I think it's so unfair to our son to uproot him every week when he has lived full-time with me his whole life. I don't think a schedule change is necessary here. All I want is a formal order outlining the percentage of extra expenses he is responsible for and a fair amount of monthly child support. I want a fair share of childcare responsibilties outlined clearly - i.e., if our son is out sick, I'll take one day off, he takes the next day, so on and so forth. I don't understand what the issue is here. It seems he wants to cherry-pick the parts of parenting that are convenient for him and to hell with the rest of it. I feel that this can all be done through mediation. I do not want to go to court. It's expensive and takes a very long time and I don't think that the means will justify the end here. But he refuses to have a conversation with me and thinks that he will win "50/50" in court. My thoughts are that he thinks he will save money this way and I don't think he is considering the well being of our son. For multiple years he has been a supportive parent and it seems that he has now suddenly decided that the level of support (financially and otherwise) he has been providing no longer works for him. I guess he is building a new life with his new partner (I've recently learned they are expecting a baby) and wants my son to participate in his new life in a different way. I have never and would never deny access to our son. I just think that 50/50 makes no sense and I don't want to put my son through that sort of sudden unnecessary change and transition when his whole life has generally looked the same with a few exceptions. I'm trying to act in the best interest of my son while also trying to keep my head above water financially and avoid losing my internship. Any advice would be appreciated. I'm sorry this was so long. I don't know what to do here. Should I initiate court proceedings? I wouldn't even know where to start. Hopefully I've outlined this issue in a way that makes sense to someone. Thanks in advance! [link] [comments] |
| You are subscribed to email updates from Legal Advice ~ A place to get simple legal advice*. To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now. | Email delivery powered by Google |
| Google, 1600 Amphitheatre Parkway, Mountain View, CA 94043, United States | |
No comments:
Post a Comment